Trust

Trust means not only being trustworthy, but also being willing to trust those who earn it. Thtat is, both being willing to earn trust via trustworthy behavior, and being willing to give trust to others when they have show a consistent pattern of trustworthy behavior. This component helps set the stage for others to behave as both genuine and aware. Since interacting with people who are both genuine and aware helps to create an emotionally safe and accepting environment, trust can flourish.

Consistency is a key factor when considering trust. To show trust or trustworthy behavior inconsistently does not yield overall trustworthiness. One must be willing to take some risks, pay attention to instincts, and learn from experience.

As always, begin by trusting your instincts . . . your 'self.' Once you can be honest with yourself, you are able to be more honest with others. Through being aware of your genuine feelings, you are now able to present them in a congruent (honest/trustworthy) manner.

Of course, telling the truth can sometimes be difficult. Being aware of other's feelings (empathy) will help in learning to present the truth in manner that decreases the chances of unnecessary conflict or defensiveness.

Exercises to facilitate Trust:

 

Meditation

Find a quiet place, perhaps a special place that you tend to gravitate towards already. Make yourself comfortable, but in a position that you are not likely to fall asleep in; many people find that either sitting in a kitchen chair with a straight back, or sitting cross-legged on the floor works quite well if you maintain proper posture--sit up straight,shoulders held comfortable, but not slouched. Begin by taking 3 deep breaths, counting to 3 on the inhale, pause briefly at the 'top' of the inhale, then gently exhale, pausing briefly at the 'bottom' of the exhale, again counting to 3 (same pace as inhale), then repeat. You can imagine inhaling trust and courage, and exhaling fear and dishonesty, or you may decide to simply follow your breath in and out. Once your breath is calmed, begin to visualize yourself feeling what it is like to be trusted--even if you have recently behaved dishonestly, imagine having been forgiven. Pay particular attention to how you are acting, your attitude, your confidence, etc. Now, imagine yourself offering trust to a person you care about, remember that they too have their experience of being trusted. Continue this meditation as long as it is comfortable and and peaceful. When you are done, drink some water, and consider writing down any thoughts you may have about how to make that visualization come to be.

Practical

Take some time to write down what you imagine when you think of a trustworthy person. Then imagine how you can show those same qualities today, tomorrow, and so forth.

Physical

Attend a Ropes course, or other certified experiential therapy facility or retreat center. Call the GATE for local listings.