Depression

Depression can act like a magnifying glass -- it can take even the most simple problem and magnify it into a seeming mountain, complete with jagged ice slabs, avalanches, and hidden dangers. Somebody living with depression may find themselves feeling like 'not wanting to bother' to do things they know would help, or that they used to enjoy doing. They may describe their life as feeling like a 'black cloud,' where one bad thing seems to be consistently followed by another bad experience. This kind of depression can be triggered by life's circumstances (divorce, grief, etc.), or by one's genetics, or a combination of multiple factors.

Fortunately, we are learning that depression can be managed, and the more effort and follow through you put into your healing, you will likely find that the results are longer lasting and become more accessible, even when you find yourself in a backslide. A few general ideas that anybody will benefit from when dealing with depression:

1) TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! Your family doctor is a great place to start. . . He or she may refer you to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. DON'T PANIC!! NOBODY THINKS YOU ARE CRAZY -- a psychiatrist referral is just a logical step; consider this--you wouldn't just stop with your family doctor when getting your heart looked at, you would follow up with a specialist. . . a cardiologist; A psychiatrist is just a specialist in the human mind and it's chemistry. Your doctor/psychiatrist will be able to talk to you about these next ideas:

2)HEALTHY DIET AND EXERCISE - Always check with your doctor before beginning any change in eating and exercise habits. Upon approval from your doctor, you will find that eating a healthy diet (this does NOT necessarily mean eating less!!) that is balanced in protein, carbohydrates, fat and vitamins/minerals helps to balance your brain chemicals. Exercise also has a direct impact on your brain chemistry. When you exercise, you are causing your body to produce very healthy endorphins, you are pressing out toxins created by stress and anxiety, and helping your brain to metabolize (process) oxygen, protein, etc. in more effective ways. The result? You literally think better, you literally begin to feel better. If you are on any medications (including antidepressants) you will find that your body is also better able to use these. NOTE: A study at Duke University showed that 60% of a group of subjects that exercised 3 times per week, for 30 minutes each session, for four months, were able to completely manage their depression WITHOUT medication. This is a substantial finding encouraging what our bodies have knows for thousands of years--that a healthy lifestyle creates a healthy experience of life.

3)COUNSELING - As difficult as diet/exercise can be to accomplish (due to depression's impact on motivation), some may finding asking for help to be even more difficult as it may feel like a weakness. . . but consider the following parable:

Two people are trying to survive a trip across the desert--each has 2 broken legs. One person is of the mindset that asking for or accepting help is a weakness. . .the other person, while not liking to be in a position to ask for help, is willing to ask for and accept it. A caravan of people happens upon our 2 travelers and offers free passage and medical care; our first traveler rather loudly shouts that he is strong enough to do this on his own and refuses their help. . . our other traveler humbly accepts the help (despite his twinge of feeling weak). The traveler who accepted the help survives the trip and lives a happy life, eventually repaying the caravan's generosity; the other dies alone in the desert. Ask yourself, "Who is stronger and smarter? The one who allowed himself to be weak during a time of weakness, and is now alive and happy? or the one that did not allow himself to show weakness and is now dead and alone."

Now some of you may be able to string together a response to this parable where the dead one seems stronger and smarter. . . To you, I say that you are either on a spiritual/philosophical level well beyond most of us, or you may be engaging in a defensive rationalization that protects your ego from dealing with whatever issues you may have yet to face. You and you alone know which one it is; there is no reason to prove yourself to anybody other than yourself.

Genuineness

Depression can be one of the most difficult states to manage as it often seems to rob a person of their motivation, their hope, and ultimately their follow through and even happiness itself. It makes life appear as gray and dull, and that one's situation is hopeless; it further often convinces a person that they are helpless to change things for the better. Given so much energy drain and lack of motivation, it is no wonder that people dealing with depression find it so difficult to cope with. Even ideas that one knows would work, if only they would follow through and do them, do not seem to provide hope or motivation to try and make things better.

Finding a way to genuinely experience the difficulty that depression brings seems counterintuitive at first as it involves making the experience all the more real and present in the here-and-now. But remember, we can only do our best work where we find our life . . . in the here-and-now.

When we look closely (awareness), we begin to see that by taking note of patterns of emotions, we can also see places where we can make changes to combat depression. See below (meditation) for an exercise you can take with you to begin these interventions.

Awareness

Again, since owning up to the fact that one feels depressed is often a depressing admission itself, being genuinely aware of depression can be quite difficult. One may find ways to cover up their awareness of this depression by self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. If a person feels that being depressed is a weakness, then this sort of awareness may feel almost crippling. The key is to realize that it only SEEMS crippling. Fact is, it is most likely that you are able to get up and walk around the block in response to your awareness (rather than lying in bed and sleeping, or smoking a joint to erase it). Becoming self-aware of our own not-so-good feelings opens up the possibility that we can make new decisions that lead to new experiences and feelings. Ultimately, responding to our genuine awareness in new and healthy ways literally reprograms how our brain responds to stress, anxiety and depression.

Again, this is easier said than done, especially when well-intending friends or family members encourage you to just do something different, or to just 'get over it,' without validating that this very action that seems so simple, is in fact an incredibly difficult task to accomplish for somebody surviving depression. But it can get easier! Maintaining an awareness of this may prove to be difficult to believe, but it can inspire you to at least set your intentions on improvement--no matter how small.

Trust

Trusting one's self to navigate the quicksand of depression can feel almost pointless to somebody facing depression; some can even become seriously suicidal. You may need to simply start with trusting that you are willing to live (or making this commitment and cultivating your trust in yourself to follow through on this commitment). Starting with this assumption, that you are able to keep on going, albeit painfully when depressed, can help to open a few doors. Behind one of these doors is the idea that since you are going to be alive anyway, you might as well do something that COULD have the potential to help things a little (in other words, what else are you going to do with your time? Just sit around and dwell on the past? Perhaps worry about the future? Might as well do something to LEARN FROM THE PAST or PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE). Again, begin by trusting that you will continue to live, and that as long as you are alive, there's infinitely more potential to find happiness than if you are not.

Empathy

Finding compassion, without self-pity, for one's self while depressed can also prove to be a frustrating battle. As always, if we approach this from the assumption that you are going to be here anyway, we can begin to open the door to you taking it easy on yourself - not beating yourself up everytime you slip into the pity-pot, or make a simple mistake. Having a little compassion for yourself IS NOT the same as feeling sorry for yourself, or getting lost in self-pity . . . rather, it is a state of mind where you embrace yourself for being willing to be persistent IN SPITE of depression; it is the idea of giving yourself permission to make mistakes, and understanding that it is the learning from them that matters more than the mistakes themselves. Finding some sort of mantra, or phrase, to remind yourself that things will improve can be helpful. . . some use the biblical, "This too shall pass" to help them remember that just because things feel horrible right now, does not mean that it will persist forever - and that by caring for one's self, rather than beating one's self up, it is discovered that healing happens sooner than later (and, yes, remembering this is also easier said than done).

Meditation

Here is what I call a Living Meditation, which is based on the concept of a single-pointed meditation:

Just live your life, making efforts to improve your situation as you choose to. When you NOTICE YOURSELF getting caught in a negative thought spiral (i.e., feeling sorry for yourself - the pity pot, dwelling on the past; or worrying about the future, etc.), RECOGNIZE and acknowledge what you are doing (i.e., "Ok, there you are doing the pity pot thing again"), being careful to not beat yourself up -- but if you do fall into self-bashing, once you CATCH YOURSELF doing this, then recognize and acknowledge it. Next, after simply noticing what you are doing, bring your awareness back to the letter 'P,' which in this case stands for Pleasant or Productive. Whichever word pops up for you gives you a great indication of what kind of activity may help to give you a break from your current rut. For example, if Pleasant comes up for you, try doing something pleasant (a massage, a manicure, listening to your favorite CD, a warm bath, etc.). Pay attention to how you feel after this--you will likely notice at least a feeling of accomplishment for trying something other than nothing.

The trick is to do this over and over again. Each time you notice yourself in a negative spiral, redirect yourself, and follow through on new directions, you make it more likely to catch yourself sooner and sooner, and change your direction faster, and maintain the benefits longer. Think of this like lifting weights--to get to lifting 100lbs, you have to work through 50lbs, 55lbs, and so on. . . but just because you are not lifting 100lbs at first DOES NOT mean that you will not accomplish it; rather, it just means that you will have to pass through the other weights first.

You will notice that I do not suggest that you challenge yourself to maintain 100% constant awareness with the goal of NEVER being negative . . . this would be impossible for most of us. Like the famous musician James Taylor says, "It's enough to be on your way; it's enough to cover ground."
Just when you happen to notice yourself in a negative thought spiral . . . no pressure. . . your ability to notice these spirals will improve as a natural part of your practice. Just make sure you don't talk yourself out of the follow through!