The GateHealing Blog ~ Jonathan F. Anderson, MA, LPC

Basically, what kind of dinner are you taking your breath to? Wherever. There are some general conventions, however, that can be very helpful.

1) A very simple corner of a room, with few distractions, natural lighting, perhaps a small table with a candle, and something special to you. Period. You may even put this little corner in a larger room dedicated to being still and quiet, but that’s optional.

2) Have an elaborate, beautiful portrayal of a spiritual teaching, deity, various spiritual objects, colorful and brilliant, or a bit more plain, but still more elaborate than #1.

3) A spiritual gathering place or ceremony. A meditation center.

4) Whatever feels right to you. Some will find outside vs inside more real, others will find mountains as the best for them, others the ocean, and some that are totally at home wherever they are at.

The trick is really letting yourself see what is best for you. Allowing yourself to be drawn naturally to a style of your own—which may be the decision to follow a specific layout that somebody else suggests, things like feng-shui. Some will build on a few ideas from each area. Just keep it consistent, at least in the beginning, have a place that you KNOW that you can just sit and breathe . . . nothing else; it takes practice, and it’s more of a letting yourself naturally re-settle on your breath, vs trying to chase the inevitable distractions away completely.

When your meditation place is more in-line with your particular preferences, the easier it is to allow the re-settling to happen because you aren’t distracted by too many objects; you see, some people see some very ‘high’ people/teachers with elaborate alters, and feel that that’s the ‘correct way;’ well, it may be correct for that person, but you may do better with a simple table, candle and rosary. For others, they may see a very ‘high’ person/teacher with just a simple table, and think that this is the ‘correct’ way . . . and again, it may be, for THAT person, but for another individual, having a more elaborate alter may feel more comfortable since they were raised with one. All are fine. The real key is what you allow your breath to do while you’re sitting in front of this or that.

Have you ever noticed that when you go to a restaurant with a friend and are having a conversation, that there are LOTS of possible distractions around? Others talking, dishes clattering, people eating, music, kitchen sounds, smells, art on the walls, cars driving by, etc. But somehow, you seem to remain focused (mostly) on your friend? And it doesn’t take too much work—it just seems natural to shift from a distracting sound, back to your conversation (although some struggle with managing distractions—meditation will help, but please visit gatehealing.com if you feel like you’re dealing with something like ADD/ADHD).

Learning to meditate is like allowing this kind of natural re-focusing to happen. When you are meditating and you have a distracting thought or feeling, do what you do in a restaurant: just return to your focus point. In this example, it is like having a dinner conversation with your breath—you aren’t trying to stop the noises and distractions, you simply allow your focus to rest on your breath while the distractions swirl around you. Having a conversation with your breath is a great exercise. Remembering that it is there even while distractions happen helps you to return to it, without being too bothered by the distractions—they’re just being distractions—they don’t have to stop your meditation; you can actually incorporate them via acceptance of them, and a calm returning to the breath (breathing in, I notice distractions, breathing out, I return to my breath).

James Taylor sings, “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” I agree, and have a simpler suggestion: The secret of life is remembering to breathe. Some famous older person was once asked the secret to their longevity—They said, “I keep remembering to breathe.” Sound advice!

Keep breathing or you may pass out!

So it’s tax time again. Many people get very frustrated, scared, confused and angry when doing their taxes. As with the Olympic successes and disappointments, I’ll ask if you can do your taxes and just notice those experiences that don’t feel so good, and use them as indicators, like a low fuel light in your car, to fill your emotional tank. You see, it’s when we got low on the mindfulness fuel that our pain body, fear body, ego, whatever you want to call it, kicks in. REMEMBER—the kicking in itself is just an indicator light—nothing to fear or judge, it’s just there to be seen and tended to with kindness.

How? Good question. I ALWAYS encourage people to start with anchoring their breath; it’s portable, you have voluntary control over how you are breathing, and it doesn’t take too long for the benefits to kick in, even if subtle in the beginning. So, breathe like you’re sleeping: that is, letting your tummy fall out as you inhale with a long and smooth breath through the nose, then pull the tummy back in as you exhale in a smooth long breath out of your mouth (slightly pressed lips will help to regulate the speed of your exhale). Your tummy should be moving in and out, not your chest (though some chest movement is fine, over time, it will be minimal). Of course, have healthy posture whether sitting or lying down.

Great, now you’re breathing more correctly. You can stop here and do great, but some folks find it helpful to add a few simple things. While you take a 5 min break from taxes to breathe like you’re sleeping, you can say certain things to yourself as you inhale (like “I am breathing in (calmness, light, love, sanity)” and “I am breathing out (stress, fear, etc OR love, kindness etc”—some folks like to feel like they are giving something good back out to the universe, so they enjoy breathing in good stuff, and sending it back out . . . either way is wonderful). You can add visuals if you like, but remember, meditation does NOT need to be complicated—Buddha used a single pointed meditation when he was enlightened—you guessed it—his single focus he returned to was his breath.

Now you’ve got a nice smooth rhythm going with your breath, maybe some words or images coming in and out with it . . . what about when distracting thoughts come in (like, “I’m bored, I’m anxious, I’ve got ants in my pants, Did I leave the stove on? Where are my keys, What am I going to do about my taxes? I’m pissed at my family member, friend, etc.). FIRST~~DON’T TRY TO CHASE THE THOUGHT AWAY!! Just see it for what it is. A wonderful monk, Thich Nhat Hanh has some great phrases you can use to become more OK with feelings as they arise: “Breathing in, I notice that I am angry,” “Breathing out, I accept my anger and return to my breath.” There are many variations of this, but you get the idea—keep with your breath WHILE you feel the emotion; if you enter into judging the emotion, or trying to chase it away, simply return to the breath and a statement like the one above.

With daily practice, your brain actually rewires itself and comes to ‘expect’ that you will use your breath to restore balance while experiencing a ‘negative’ emotion. This doesn’t mean that the feeling goes away, but it does help to resolve the unnecessary energy expended on judging and/or feeling stuck/screwed. What part of the brain rewires? The left medial prefrontal cortex. Yup, this is real neurobiology folks, not just a bunch of psychobabble, new agey gobbledy-gook. Look it up for yourself in any trusted medical journal. WebMd.com is a great place to look. But feel free to try the Journal of American Medicine, or any other publication you trust.

This has turned into a long post. . .I’ll write another on some other ways to relate to your breath. In the meantime, look around the blog. I’ve written several posts on this kind of thing, and will often repeat things I’ve put on here before. . . which, of course, is just a repeat of things people have been saying for thousands of years.

I’ve been on and off the posting her for a few months, and somebody gave me a great idea: encourage y’all to use my contact form (that’s a link that’ll take you there) to send me suggestions you’d like to see articles written on, and questions you may have—I’ll get those contact sheets much quicker than putting comments on here (I’m getting lots of spam comments, and there’s a chance that I may not see your post if it’s in the middle of 200 spams anyway—-feel free to post comments though, just be patient on a response).