Addiction

Addiction: How to get help, how to support a loved one's recovery

There are so many definitions of what an 'addiction' is that it seems best for you to just be honest with yourself about where you really stand, or where you see a loved one stand, on behaviors you are concerned about (rate risk behavior from 1-10, or low-level - high level, etc). This, of course, is how Genuineness applies to addiction and how to manage the behaviors that go with it. I mention this right up front because of its importance: if you are not genuine and honest about where you or your loved one stands, then it will be difficult, if not impossible, to deal with the roots of the addictive behaviors that are concerning you.

For those struggling with addictive behaviors: Better safe than sorry

 

Most people know that at least some addictions/addictive behaviors can kill you--Alcohol poisoning, liver failure or driving drunk, heroin/cocaine/etc. overdose, etc. Rather than focus on fear components, I'd prefer to talk to you about how you chose to live. Recurring theme? Yes--YOU have to do the work.

If you are not sure about some behaviors that you are seeing, ask somebody who can help you evaluate what you see. A counselor will be able to help you recognize honestly what you see, then you may know what to do, and then go do it on your own--many people are successful with minimal intervention (depending on the addiction--heroin vs marijuana: big difference (heroin is significantly more addictive). If you feel like you need some structure and support as you find your path to sobriety or use-management, a counselor can help you recognize triggers, landmines, tools ,etc. so that you are better able to manage cravings and high-risk situations. Notice that I am referring mostly to you doing the work and a counselor giving the tools and offering awareness--it is your choice to use these tools or not.

Forms of addiction: Not just a personality trait

Physical - Physical addiction is when your brain/body feels that it needs the substance in order to survive. In some cases, it does in fact need the substance to avoid shock from withdrawl--this is where Detox centers come into play.

Psychological - Psychological addiction exists when a person simply feels that they want the substance more and more (often to 'get a break' or 'tune out/in'), but that the body does not feel a biological pull towards it for survival (although the psychologically addicted may describe it this way, empirical research indicates otherwise).

Many addictions are a hybrid, where the person is both physically and psychologically addicted to the substance or behavior (a behavior that results in a particular brain chemical being produced--adrenaline in the case of risk-addicts).

Where does it come from?

One school of thought is that the Addictive Personality (psychological addiction) is at least partially genetic (still another says that it is taught through parents/adults and peers). This model would say that the chemistry in the cerebrum itself is genetically imbalanced in such a way that the personality of the individual is more prone to becoming reliant (addicted) to a variety of things (alcohol or drugs, gambling, sex, etc).

One medical model explains physical addiction with a chemical called DHIQ that resides in the brainstem, where all of our vital functions (heart beat, breathing, etc) are controlled. In a nutshell, they found this chemical in heroin addicts during autopsies, and later in alcoholics and realized that Alcohol/heroin is converted to DHIQ rather than water (as with non-addicts). It is believed that because this chemical resides in the brainstem, where everything is necessary for life, that the brain believes this chemical must be maintained, so once an addict begins to use, they have a stronger biological pull towards the addiction.

Sometimes, people just begin to experiment due to peer pressure or curiosity, then become addicted through 'chasing the high' (psychological and/or physical), or find the temporary relief worth the risk, and then the behavior becomes a habit (psychological).

Abstinence vs. Using in Moderation: A matter of what works for you, not what everybody else thinks (unless it works for you)

Here again is the importance of genuine awareness (honesty). Some people, for whatever reason,do not succeed with total abstinence plans. . . some relapse in a binge, others just go back to old ways. At the same time, many, many people do succeed with this approach. For example 12-step programs tend to be very successful for those who truly work the 12 steps and are dedicated to the lifestyle changes--we hear about such a high success rate because people who choose to stay at 12-step programs tend to work well within its structure. If this resonates with you, please call 2-1-1 to find a home group in your area.

For those who do not succeed with total abstinence, another option gaining more popularity and effectiveness, is moderated use, where you and a counselor come up with a safe schedule for you to drink (for example). The idea is that you can identify a healthy amount to consume, and a healthy frequency in order to reduce the risk of binge drinking. People who succeed with this typically report that knowing that they can have 2 drinks on Friday night, and 2 on Saturday night (for example), helps them to make it through cravings by reminding themselves that can have a drink at the end of the week. The key is that you have to choose to adhere to the schedule and amounts. Either you do the work, or you do not. When you find yourself not doing the work, reevaluate your situation, then pick up where you left off. If you try this method first but do not find success, you may want to consider trying a 12-step program, or talking with a counselor to help you manage the addictive behaviors.

Moderation use is a highly charged method right now as it goes against the traditional 12-step idea of total abstinence and that you do not have control over your use . . . Moderation says that you DO have the ability to control your use if you choose to. I will add that the severity of the addiction is a factor here too. Those using heroin or cocaine, for example, will likely do well to move towards total abstinence for a number of reasons.

Types of addiction: A short list

Alcohol/drugs
Sex/Porn
Gambling
Risk taking (cliff diving, theft, etc)
Shopping/Spending
Working
Food/eating
etc

Some of these my look more like compulsions than addictions. Similar terms, but completely different internal experience for the person--addiction is a very specific compulsive behavior with different chemicals at play than Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Making sense of addiction

Don't try--it's not supposed to make sense. Most addicts far enough in their recovery will tell you that they are addicted because they are addicted. Some others are able to articulate some deeper thoughts associated with that, but part of the nature of addiction is that it is a harmful behavior that we feel compelled to continue--in that sense, it is a senseless behavior, and you cannot make sense of a senseless behavior other than with circular verbage--which is usually very frustrating for loved ones, and even the addict.

What it is important to make sense of is the HOW of succeeding in managing the cravings and behaviors; and how to bounce back from a relapse (whether it is drinking while pursuing total abstinence, or drinking before your scheduled time, or too much during your scheduled time).

Just as in many other areas of life, it is not so much the mistake/relapse that matters once it has happened, it is your RESPONSE to it that matters: Will you choose to beat yourself down and give up (a 'thought spiral'--see the 2nd story in my Newsletter, "Living Meditation: A walk beyond the spirals of the mind")? Or will you choose to learn from the relapse and push your sobriety to the next level through this choice to LEARN and make different choices in the future based on what you learned from the relapse. If you wind up beating yourself up/giving up, notice it, then pick your use management/abstinence back up where you left off: being successful. See Meditation for information on how to cultivate this ability to let go of the past and live in the here-and-now.

 

Genuineness

 

Awareness

 

Trust

 

Empathy