For reasons like genetics, conditioning (how you were raised, influences from important people, etc), and our environment/history, people see reality through distorted ‘lenses.’
So, if we cannot get rid of the lenses to see more clearly, sometimes we can add corrective ones. This is about learning how to choose your thoughts, how to pick your behaviors, and how to know when to leave well enough alone.
The number one way to set the stage for this? Meditation. Do a search (to the right) on ‘Meditation’ and read the posts. Contact me on how to go to the next level.